Child's Play 2: Cackletta's Revenge
by Bowser Jr. Nutt
Summary: Cackletta and Fawful have broken out of prison only a week after their capture. Now she plans to get revenge on the royal koopa family while they go through their extremely random lives. But is it really worth the trouble she endures? Please R&R! Chap.9!
1. Break Out

-1I am happy to announce the awaited sequel of my first fanfic Childs Play. Now that I have more experience, you can expect an even better ride. Enjoy.

**Childs Play 2: Cackletta's Revenge**

**Chapter 1: Break Out**

Cackletta Was in her cell with Fawful. She didn't know what was more degrading, Being in prison or being tricked by her own prisoner. After a time of thinking, she found that D stood for Detainment. She swore under here breath that once she got out of here…

Fawful: Cackletta!

Cackletta: Huh?

Fawful: Look…

He pushed a brick and it came loose.

Cackletta: Excellent, our first order of business, Revenge. Hehehehahaha!

At Bowsers castle, things were just as crazy as they were a week ago. The clones were still at large, Roy was still welded to Bowser's shoulder, and Bowser Jr. Nutt along with Elvin Gadd were trying to find an antidote. Bowser Slowly got out of bed, and tried not to awaken his "roommate" and start his rambling. He tiptoed out of the room. Maybe this was his lucky day! Maybe today those two smart idiots would finally pry this nuisance off his back!…Well…shoulder. He was so optimistic he didn't even notice some one was behind him.

Bowser Jr.: Hi dad.

Bowser: WAAAA! Jr. ! You scared the living crap out of me!

Roy: Crap can live? Cool! Madness!

Bowser: Great, now you woke _him _up!

Bowser Jr. Nutt: Na, Wendy's still asleep.

Wendy: WHAT!

Bowser Jr.: Whoa, gotta go papa!

He ran off with a seriously pissed Wendy following him.

Bowser: Wow, it's still hard to get used to Jr. being here since it took us two _weeks _to find him.

Roy: Yep, doesn't it madden you so?

Bowser Jr. Nutt: Hmm-hmm…Sweet Ings of Dark Aether! Look at the time! I gotta go.

He ran off.

Roy: Wow. So as I was saying yesterday madness is not just random chaotic moment is an ancient art of-

Bowser sighed and walked into the kitchen. It was a large kitchen, larger than any other in the Koopa kingdom, but even so it only barely was able to contain everyone in the house. Bowser Jr. Nutt (or the Author) was standing in a corner tinkering with a strange machine, Bowser Jr. was on the chandelier to avoid Wendy who was eyeing him like some disgusting bug begging to be squashed, and Morton and Iggy were having an enlightening conversation…

Iggy: Well I say Fried chicken came before KFC!

Morton: Well I say KFC came before Fried chicken!

Bowser Jr. Nutt: Once again, your both wrong…………….. Both came at the same time when alien chickens attacked Napoleon during the Korean war but lost because Mt. Krakatoa exploded and they all fried and fell into a ship of theirs call the K.F.C. that had a picture of their leader on it just like today. Well then the Russians discovered the remains and started a fast-food arms race with the American government for a super fast-food joint and the project was dubbed "the Mannsaten Project", thus dawning fried chicken and KFC.

Everyone: ……

Morton and Iggy: ………..Of course!

Roy: Woohoo! Their should be more moments like this!

Everyone then went back to what their doing. Bowser Jr. Nutt picked up a piece of newspaper and started to read the headline as he drank a cup of coffee. On the front page in bold words were **Cackletta and Fawful escape prison through faulty wall**. The Author spit out his coffee.

Bowser Jr. Nutt: Oh no!

Everyone: What, what is it?

Bowser Jr. Nutt: I can't believe it!

Everyone: What?

Bowser Jr. Nutt: …It's just to horrible to-

Wendy: TELL US BEFORE WE TRY TO CONVINCE PEOPLE NOT TO REVIEW THIS PAGE!

Bowser Jr. Nutt: Okay, okay……Glue stocks are down 20 percent!

Everyone: Gasp!

Bowser Jr. Nutt: And the number of review-to-hit ratio has gone down 45 Percent!

Everyone: Gasp!

Bowser Jr. Nutt: …………..Oh, and Cackletta escaped from prison.

Everyone: …

Bowser: …… Who's Cackletta? I have a disease called ASMFUP. It stands for Abnormally Short Memory For Unimportant People.

Just then, the clones entered the room.

Blk (Black) Bowser: What the hell are all of you hipped up about?

Bowser Jr. Nutt: Glue stocks are down by 20 percent! And the review-to-hit ratio is down by 45 percent!

Wit (white) Bowser: AHHHHHHHHHHHHH!

Vit (violet) Bowser: Don't worry, my statistics in cross reference in consumers desire, the chaos theory, and the quantum theory of possibilities state that it should rise in the next two seconds.

Radio: Flash, Glue stocks and the review-to-hit ratio have increased by, like, eleventy bumillion percent……….. Which basically means only three percent.

Bowser Jr. Nutt: Joy!

Lenny: Also, Cackletta has escaped from prison.

Red Bowser: Don't worry, I'm sure her time in jail has made her turn over a new leaf!

Blu (blue) Bowser: ..B-but what if she isn't? What if she comes to take revenge?

Bowser Jr.: Then I'd kick her Elephant-hide thick ass back to jail, just like I did last time.

Larry: Come on, We know you could do damage but do you really expect us to believe _all _of that story you told? I mean, who could build a roller Coaster in two days?

E. Gadd: Actually, I taught him how.

Larry: Oh. Well screw it. Let's just get back to our meaningless lives.

Roy: Meaningless…That rhymes with madness! Yay! Embrace the madness everyone, or else!

Bowser: Or else what?

Roy: Or else I won't stop talking.

Bowser: (whimper).

Everyone was silent for a moment until it was broken by a sudden sneeze.

Bowser: Who sneezed?

E. Gadd: It was just the ceiling.

Bowser: Oh, well the ceiling sneezes all the time……okay it never does.

Bowser Jr.: As fun as this conversation is, I gotta go. I'm scheduled to graffiti Mushroom castle.

With that, he pulled out his brush, put on his bandana, and rushed off.

Ylw (yellow) Bowser: He has a schedule? Schedules are like Ass-holes, everyone's got one, some just have bigger or more organized ones than others.

Everybody ran off and toilets flushing could be heard.

Ylw Bowser: Was it something I said?

Cackletta and Fawful where sneaking along the side of the castle.

Cackletta: Okay…wait for my signal…….now!

They both ran ducked under a nearby bush, just as a guard started to turn around.

Fawful: (whisper) We made it! Now what? Infiltrate the castle?

Cackletta: Shut up! I'm the evil genius and you're the apprentice. GET WITH THE PICTURE!

Fawful: Sheesh, you don't have to act like a horses ass in a glue factory…….and it would be nice if you didn't look like one either.

Cackletta: I'll try to ignore that comment for your sake. Now come on! The guard is gone.

They tiptoed up to the gate and entered.

Fawful: Wow! Why can't we have a castle like this?

Cackletta: We do.

Fawful: Oh.

They went to a nearby air vent and climbed through.

Fawful: Eww…there are bugs in here!

Cackletta: Shut up and move.

They kept walking until Cackletta stopped.

Cackletta: Listen…

: Meaningless….that rhymes with madness! Yay! Embrace the madness everyone, or else!

Fawful: Cackletta, I-I think some dust went up my nose!

Cackletta: Shut up and listen!

: Or else what?

: Or else I won't stop talking.

: (whimper).

Fawful: I gotta- I gotta…ah..ah….AH CHOOO!

Cackletta: You idiot! Let's get out of here!

They quickly crawled though the vents until they came to and exit. They hoped out into what was Bowser's sports trophy room…it was empty.

Cackletta: Perfect, we'll plan our revenge in here in here! Let's get to work.

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Hope you liked it! Next chapter coming soon! Please R&R!


	2. Artificial Stupidity

**Chapter 2: Artificial Stupidity**

Bowser Jr. Nutt: It's complete!

A few hours after breakfast, the Author yelled out through the house. Everyone's mind raced.

Bowser: He finally found a way to get Roy of my shoulder!

Red Bowser: He's finally completed his plans for world peace!

E. Gadd: He's finally found a way to make that guy in the mirror I see every morning from getting any uglier!

Roy: …and he completes the first lap, going for a wide turn followed by…what? He said our minds _raced._

Everyone gathered around either to see what the Author had created, or just to beat the shit out of him for making them come down for some stupid reason.

Bowser Jr. Nutt: Thank you, thank you. I bet you're all wondering why I called you here.

Wendy: No, not really, we just couldn't find anything better to do.

Bowser Jr. Nutt: …Okay then! Anyways, I have finally completed my greatest invention!

He pulled a curtain to show a machine with a green, glowing ball on top that looked similar to an plasma ball.

Lemmy: OMG! It's fantastic, how do you do it? It's so cool! It'll change the world as we know it!

Larry: You know what it does?

Lemmy: No, It just looks cool.

Bowser Jr. Nutt: This machine uses a special fusion generator from the Land of Blabs-Alot to create, Artificial Stupidity!

Everyone: …

Bowser Jr. Nutt: Just with the push of a button, you can make something stupid, or detect how stupid something is! I tried to test it on a rat, but it hit this rock I was holding, and then me, But I doubt it worked on me. Okay, let's see if this rock is stupid…

He took out a rock from his pocket and set it on the table.

Bowser Jr. Nutt: Okay, Mr. Rock, what's 2+2?

The rock was silent.

Bowser Jr. Nutt: See! Stupid. You see the thing gets stupider for a while and then becomes normal again, unless under certain conditions…..Yep, just had to push this button here.

He pressed the button and a green light flashed through the room…

Bowser Jr.: There, that should do it!

On the side of Mushroom Kingdom castle, there was a big picture of Mario falling through a ditch.

Bowser Jr.: Yep, Picasso's got nothing on me.

Mario: Hey! Your that Bowser Jr.! Why did you paint that picture of me on the wall?

Bowser Jr.: (_Think fast, think fast…)_ Uh, it's to warn all who approach that Mario is in this territory!

Mario: Really? Then why is that big hole under me?

Bowser Jr.: …uh, it creates the illusion that your coming through the wall!

Mario: Wow! Your MUCH better of a person than your father! I shouldn't have judged you by your family! I gotta show Peach this!

He ran off.

Bowser Jr.: …Darn, Mario maybe as thick as a warp pipe……and it's contents….but mama Peach is a different matter (Yes, I know she's not my real mama, I'm just used to calling her that). Oh well, time to go see what the others are doing…

He ran off.

Cackletta had only been in the room for five seconds and she was already hating the place. Their were all these empty cabinets that kept reminding her of failure. Fawful kept asking her obvious questions and not getting the concept of "apprentice", and she was tired of hearing so many pointless conversations from so many pointless people…pointlessly.

Fawful: Mmm, it's a good thing Bowser keeps a hidden food storage in here, mm-mmmmm, What's wrong Cackletta? You haven't looked so bad since, wait, you always look this bad.

Cackletta: Shut up, you! We better start planning for everyone's demise or we won't be fulfilling the summary, and the summary is all powerful! ALL POWERFULL!

Fawful put down the pumpkin pie he was eating.

Fawful: But didn't the summary also say that you would have to put up with constant hardships?

Cackletta: Ah, what does that summary know, anyways? It's not so great…

Fawful: But you just said-

Cackletta: Shut up…

Lemmy: Hey, Larry!

Larry: Hey, Lemmy!

Lemmy: You know what I have a hankering for?

Larry: You don't mean…

Both: Sugar and Coffee!

Wit Bowser: Did I just hear…

All three: Sugar and Coffee!

Larry: That's right!

All three: Sugar and Coffee!

Wit Bowser: Well what a coincidence! I was just going to get some…

All three: Sugar and Coffee!

Wit Bowser: …So why don't we all go get some…

All three: Sugar and Coffee!

Wit Bowser: …Together?

Larry and Lemmy: That would be great!

They trotted down the stairs into the kitchen and started to make some…

All three: Sugar and Coffee!

Lemmy: That always did make me hunger.

Larry: Hungry for what?

Lemmy: Hungry for…

All three: Honey and Butter!…uh, we mean…Sugar and Coffee!

Wendy: Did I just hear someone say…

All four: Honey and Butter!

Wit Bowser: Nope, we were saying…

All four: Sugar and Coffee!

Wendy: Awwww, that blows! I was really looking forward to some…

All four: Honey and Butter!

Wendy: …not…

All four: Sugar and Coffee!

Larry: Hmmm, well this is quite a predicament….I know! Why don't we mix our…

All Four: Sugar and Coffee!

Larry: …With your…

All four: Honey and Butter!

Wendy: Yeah! And we can call it…

All four: Sugary-Honey and Buttery-Coffee!

Bowser: Hey kids and clone of myself! What are you all doing?

Wit Bowser: Were Making…

All five: Sugary-Honey and Buttery-Coffee!

Bowser Jr. Nutt: Everybody freeze!

Wit Bowser: Okay! If you give us some liquid nitrogen.

Bowser Jr. Nutt: According to our ratings, People are starting to get annoyed and bored with…

All six: Sugary-Honey and Buttery-Coffee!

Everyone: Gasp!

Lemmy: Oh well, Back to Clown school…

Pennywise: Congratulations, you pass. Here's your diploma…..it floats!

Lemmy: Jealous?

Larry: Completely.

Bowser: You know son, this is something you will keep for the rest of your life…….okay, time to throw it in the fire place.

Lemmy: Sure!

Morton: Hey everyone, Jr.'s back from his trip to graphite muck room Castlevania….uh, I mean Graffiti mushroom castle.

Bowser Jr.: Okay, is it just me, or is everyone around here stupid…. And I mean more so than usual…

Wit Bowser: Of course not! How could you think of such a thing!

Bowser Jr. Stared at him wryly and put on his bandana.

Wit Bowser: OMG! JR.'S TURNED INTO A TERRIBLE MONSTER! AAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH!

Bowser Jr.: ……….okay, Author, what the hell did you do to my already stupid family?

Bowser Jr. Nutt: I-

He was interrupted by an anvil falling on his head.

Bowser Jr.: Nutt: Hmm…not what I had in mind but seems appropriate.

Ceiling: OH MY GOSH YOU GOT A DIRECT HIT CA-

Ceiling: SHUT UP YOU IDIOT! HE'LL HEAR US!

Bowser Jr.: Hmm…I have a strange craving for a root-beer float with some aspirin in it…ah hell, why not make it five aspirins.

He walked off.

Vit Bowser: Normally I would think this as a scientific impossibility…wait…what does that mean again? Something about peanuts…

Cackletta had no idea how Fawful had found an anvil and was able to bring it back here without anyone noticing or missing it.

Fawful: Well actually, someone did see me.

Cackletta: WHAT! What did they say?

Fawful: They asked me if I was single, and they were guys too…so I said yes and we went into a bedroom and had-

Cackletta: So they didn't notice who you were?

Fawful: Nope, in fact, they looked like they were either stoned or just plain stupid.

Cackletta: Well, while you were away doing, whatever…I was spying out on enemy activity.

Fawful: But we're not even in the military.

Cackletta glared at him.

Cackletta: I mean on the royal koopa family!

Fawful: Oh.

Cackletta: Well anyway, that real shady one said he'd invented artificial stupidity.

Fawful: Really? There's already enough stupidity in the world, why create more? Oh, by the way Cackletta, that was boss when you pushed that anvil on that shady one's head.

Cackletta: Stop using extinct slang! We've got to do better than just dropping anvils on people's heads if we're going to get revenge.

: Hey, bartender, give me a root-beer float with five aspirins in it.

Fawful: Did we really hit him that hard?

Cackletta: Of course we did! And besides, that's not that shady ones voice, it's that little brat's!

: Five? You must have had a rough day, master Jr.

: Yeah, I saw some stuff that me think that I needed a cat-scan.

: Your not the only one, Master Jr. . I just saw your brother, Master Iggy, come in and asked for a sprite with ground beef in it. What did you see, master Jr.?

Fawful: Eww…

Cackletta: Be quiet!

: I saw my papa singing along with Roy.

: WHAT! That is one of the most astounding things I've ever heard of, master Jr. .

: No kidding. (sound of liquid being drunk). Ah! That hit the spot!

_DING-DONG!_

:Well, I gotta go, see ya, bartender!

: Yes, good day master Jr. .

Cackletta: I wonder who could be at the door at this time of day?

Fawful: Maybe it's just some sexual predator here to rape kids and all that crap, hey, I found Pizza!

Bowser Jr. could have sworn that he had heard the walls talking when he was talking to the bartender, and they sounded eerily familiar. Maybe it's just the stress of having more than seventeen people in the house. He walked up to the door and opened it. A group of people were in the door way and had only seen them once before, when he hacked into the security cameras of a local bar while Cackletta held him captive.

Rasputin: Got Wine?

Jack Sparrow: Got Rum?

Freddy: Got Children? ……_Human _Children?

Michael: …

Jason: …

Leatherface: …

Julius Ceaser: Got land to conquer?

Snoopy: I'll kill you bitch!

Attila the Hun: Hey! I wanted to say that…

Bowser Jr.: ……We don't want cookies.

Freddy: Uh, we came from far away to throw a crazy and random party, but we'll need a crazy and random house and a crazy and random group of people. Know any?

Bowser Jr.: …Gentlemen, you came to the right place.

They all cheered, entered, and slammed the door shut.

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Man! It's hard to keep up with so many characters! I try my hardest to make sure that everyone has an equal share of things to say, but keeping up with so many means the chapters are going to get even longer that this! And who are these guys intruding into my story? And do they really just want to throw a party? Please R&R!


	3. A Party Fit for Idiots

**A Party Fit for Idiots**

Fawful: CACKLETTA!

Cackletta: What?

Fawful: I JUST SAW MICHEAL MYERS ENTER THE BUILDING!

Cackletta: NO SHIT? FRIGGIN-A!

Fawful: Yeah, I know! What are we going to do?

Cackletta: Hmmm…Since he did scare the living crap out of me back at the castle…

Fawful: Again with the living crap!

Cackletta: …why not get revenge on him as well?

Fawful: Because if he finds out we're screwed.

Cackletta: But he won't find out! I can feel it.

Fawful: Oh yeah? Well I feel like the Sahara desert in a pizza oven.

Cackletta: …Oww, Me to…oh shit, THE HEATER!

They scrambled around the vent, screaming in burning agony.

Snoopy: Hey, Freddy! Check it out, a heater that screams!

Freddy Kruger came over and turned the knob higher, which produced more screaming.

Freddy: Wow! This has got be the most brilliant invention ever!

Bowser Jr.: Could you guys keep it down? Everybody doesn't know you're here yet and it would probably be less of a shock if I tell them before they find out themselves.

Snoopy: Why's that, Turtle turd?

Bowser: (distant but loud) AHHHHHHHHH! JASON VOORHEES!

Bowser Jr.: …That's why, shit sniffer.

Snoopy sneered and walked off.

Jr. ran off to find Bowser staring at Roy, who was induced in the familiar ritual of a seemingly staring war with Jason, the one Roy called "Speaking Madness".

Jason: …

Roy: …Oh, Hi Jr.! I found this Canadian Bush-whacker walking around, can we keep him? Please, please!

Bowser Jr.: Roy, that's not a Canadian Bush-whacker, it's Jason Voorhees, one of the most notorious serial killers of all time.

Roy: I know. Can we keep him? Please? PLEASE?

Bowser Jr. Nutt: Hey, guys! You should go down stairs, apparently you have a screaming heater! It's really fun and crap. Plus, the guy with the knife in his head and the pirate are trying to kill each other trying to decide which is better, rum or wine!

E. Gadd: Really? I have unfinished business with that pirate since that time we went to that movie studio…

Bowser: Hey, I remember that! I hated that place! That voice kept insulting us! I've never lived down that molestation comment he threw!

Roy: I was in the audience and I loved it! So much madness! Mario mooning children, Luigi getting tazed by the CIA, Peach Getting sacrificed to a volcano dedicated to Chuck Norris…

Bowser Jr.: Hey, Weren't some of those guys down stairs at that studio?

Bowser: Hey…yeah! They tried to kill me once!

Vit Bowser: You didn't remember that until now?

Roy: …Bowser Jr. Getting yelled at by Wendy, Papa almost getting murdered by a bunch of blood thirsty killers, Yoshi flirting with eggs, DK showing his hate for Diddy, Diddy showing his cowardice for not going to the Super Smash Bros. tournament…

Bowser: Hey, lots of people try to kill me! Especially those tax collectors…

Red Bowser: Hey! I just made lots of new friends with the people down stairs! This one guy, he tried to kill me with metal claws! And this guy wearing a toga, he told me to go touch myself in a corner! He must really like me!

Roy: … Mecha Bowser telling everyone that his uncle's the tin man, Daisy melting everyone's head with her Weapon-of-mass-destruction voice, Toad getting lynched by a bunch of Bruce Lee fans, and E. Gadd going off naked to conquer China with an army of garden gnomes…

E. Gadd: DA GNOMES RULE!

He ripped off his cloths and went off to conquer China with an Army of rabid garden gnomes.

Roy: Wow! It's like Vu' Deja all over again!

Vit Bowser: That's Deja' Vu…

Down stairs, everybody was wrecking something, somehow, somewhere.

E. Gadd: We meet again, pirate!

Jack Sparrow: Hey, you're the guy who tried to steal me rum! I'll let you know that someone's rum is almost as personal as their toilet seat…So it's not nice to steal it!

E. Gadd: Oh yeah? Attack, my gnomes!

The Gnomes started to swarm Jack.

Jack Sparrow: No! Garden Gnomes! They're bad for me psyche, but great for me yard!

Bowser Jr. Nutt: Reminds me of Canadians.

Jason walked in front of him.

Bowser Jr. Nutt: No! Canadians! They're bad for my psyche, but great for my hockey game!

Freddy: Why does every one call Jason a Canadian?

Bowser Jr. Nutt: Canadian? Where!…oh, he has a hockey mask.

Freddy: Did it occur to you that other countries play hockey _besides _Canada?

Bowser Jr. Nutt: Yeah……what was I talking about? Something about electrical outlets…

Cackletta and Fawful were able to escape the vents with only minor injuries such as liver damage and 6th degree burns.

Cackletta: We're alive!

Fawful: Yep. Hey, did you notice that the author goes completely off topic?

Cackletta: Yes. Okay, now how are we going to get revenge on Michael Myers without him finding out and killing us?

Fawful: Hmm…I know! Let's draw funny pictures of him on the Bathroom wall!

Cackletta: … That has got to be the single most stupid idea I have ever-

: Hey, I think I'll give my artificial stupidity another try. Let's try aiming in to that whispering air vent!

There was a bright green flash that hit Cackletta right in the chest.

: Did it work? Oh well, my attention span is to short to find out.

Fawful: Cackletta! Are you okay?

Cackletta: I think so…Anyway, as I was saying, that is the single most brilliant plan I have ever heard!

Julius Caesar: Hey, we're out of chips!

Ludwig: (grumble) I'll go get some…

He walked over to the pantry and opened the door to find a strange Japanese woman with black eyes and no lower jaw, so her tongue was hanging like a pendulum.

Kayoko: (Very disturbing gargling).

Ludwig: …Just don't drool all over the pantry.

Kayoko: (Gurgling) Wha?

He slammed the door in her face after getting the chips.

Ludwig: Japanese people…They're bad for my sanity, but great for my horror movie!

Bowser: I need a vacation.

Roy: Yeah, to a black hole!

Ylw Bowser: French fries!

Bowser: I thought the artificial stupidity wore off by now.

Ylw Bowser: It did. I just like saying that. French Fries!

Red Bowser: French fries? That would be the perfect gift for my new scary friends, isn't that right Leatherface?

Leatherface flipped him the bird.

Ludwig: …I wonder if my family is Japanese…

Bowser Jr. Nutt: (bowing) Ohio-gonzimous, Ludwig-san.

Cackletta: Okay, one the count of three… one, seven, apple, three!

They ran into the nearest stall and drew a crudely drawn stick figure of Michael Myers. They ran out after they were done.

Fawful: Tehe, look! Here he comes!

Michael Myers walked in and went into the stall that Cackletta and Fawful drew the caricature.

: …(sound of flushing)

He walked out with a piece of toilet paper trailing from his colossal boot.

Fawful: …You think it worked?

Cackletta: Oh, it worked all right, mission complete! Lets go back to the air vent.

Fawful: Okay!

Everyone was watching E. Gadd, Rasputin, and Jack try to kill each other for no particular reason.

Freddy: I got ten bucks riding on the pirate.

Julius Caesar: My money's on the old fart with the Spear-gun

Freddy: Hey, haven't I made this bet before? …nah, must be my imagination.

Bowser: Okay everyone, party's over!

Everyone: Ahh, why?

Bowser: Because I don't have slasher insurance, now get!

Everyone headed for the door.

Julius Caesar: That was almost as much fun as conquering Gaul!

Snoopy: Are you kidding? The party sucked!

Kayoko: (gargling)

Rasputin: Hey, baby. Why don't we get together some time and suck some lip?

She started to bite his throat out.

When everybody left, Bowser collapsed to the floor.

Bowser: I never want to here the word party again.

Bowser Jr. Nutt: Hey, Bowser, You up for that party at the bar on Wednesday?

Bowser: You bet!

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I hope you all liked the chapter! Before I sign off, I'd like to say a few things. I Apologize to all Canadians who read this, as I have nothing against them at all. To **Starfighter364**, I read your fic, but I don't know enough about Fire Emblem to give you an honest review. Next chapter will be up soon! Please R&R! (yes I know this chapter was off topic). Happy Memorial day everyone!


	4. Parodies of Annoyance

**Parodies of Annoyance**

Cackletta: I feel the effects of that ray wearing off.

Fawful: Aww…

Cackletta: I'm starting to think that these people are idiots.

Fawful: No!

Cackletta: Yes. I mean, this is nowhere near as random as when we were holding that brat hostage! It's enough to make you wonder-

Fawful: -Why people should eat more fiber?

Cackletta: …No….

Fawful: How I come up with the saying that I do?

Cackletta: Well…yes…but that's not what I'm talking about.

Fawful: When they'll invent the cure for baldness?

Cackletta: Oh, just forget it!

In a cold, dark room, Lemmy and Larry awoke. The lights went on to reveal their whereabouts as an old bathroom. They looked down and saw that their ankles where chained to a wall.

Larry: I wonder if this is that place Dad said he went to every Sunday night, since it has a lot of hooks and holes.

Lemmy: I think he meant "hookers" and "whores".

Larry: Then where's all the "seamen" ?

Lemmy: Over there.

In the corner a bunch of seamen playing poker waved to them.

Larry: Oh.

Suddenly, the TV in the middle of the room came on to reveal a white face guy with red swirls on his cheeks.

Jigsaw: Good morning, gentlemen. I'd like to play a game with you…

Larry: Oh! Are we playing Chess?

Jigsaw: …No….

Lemmy: Checkers?

Jigsaw: No!

Larry: Backgammon?

Lemmy: Monopoly?

Larry: Risk?

Lemmy: Scrabble?

Larry: Candyland?

Everyone stared at him.

Larry: …It requires a lot of skill.

Jigsaw: WILL YOU TWO JUST SHUT UP! It's hard enough keeping up with the ones that cry for mercy, let alone you goons!

Lemmy: …Are you single?

Jigsaw: What kind of question is that!

Lemmy: A special kind of question…

Jigsaw: …I am so f---ed.

Bowser Jr. walked into the kitchen. He slept late last night because of the party and was looking forward to a very sane day (not that he didn't like the occasional out of whack days). He opened up the pantry to find the same women from last night.

Kayoko: (disturbing gurgling).

Bowser Jr.: You're still here? Damn! I just mopped the floor in there!

She just stared at him with her enormous black-hole eyes.

Bowser Jr.: Hello…Are you alive? …Oh wait…yeah…

Suddenly, a small boy with a beetle head and white skin appeared. The creepy lady stared at Bowser Jr., then to the boy, then to Bowser Jr.

Bowser Jr.: …Oh no! I am not baby sitting around here! That kid is probably older then me! You expect me to watch him? My eldest brother hates Japanese people! They give him hives. He finds out I let him in, he'd kill me!

She stared at him, with here pupils growing eerily larger by the second.

Bowser Jr.: Okay, okay! I'll baby sit the kid as long as you-

She was gone.

Bowser Jr.: …stop staring at me…I wonder where she went.

A Post card from Los-Vegas fell from the ceiling with a picture of the lady nailing the slots. Jr. looked at the boy at the boy in the corner.

Bowser Jr.: So…ahh….What do you want to do?

Boy: …

Bowser Jr.: …

Boy: …

Bowser Jr.: …THAT'S IT! AUTHOR, WENDY, COME IN HERE!

They walked into the room.

Wendy: What is it? I was doing something very important.

Bowser Jr. Nutt: Yeah, I was busy reading her diary!

Wendy: (Powerfully) …You…What?….

Bowser Jr.: Guys, you gotta help me watch this kid until the creepy lady comes back.

Wendy: Just leave him here, He probably won't even notice we're gone.

Bowser Jr.: You think I going to leave _THAT_ to wander the halls and do as it pleases?

Wendy: …Good point, but why do _I_ have to watch him?

Bowser Jr.: Who else in this house am I suppose to leave him with? Roy? Iggy? Dad? I don't think so.

Bowser Jr. Nutt: Then why me?

Bowser Jr.: You'll probably mess things up, thus making this chapter more interesting. Plus, I have a schedule to stick to, bye!

He ran off.

Wendy: Great, my idiot little brother got us stuck in a situation, what are we going to do?

Bowser Jr. Nutt: We could hire a hitman.

Wendy: Na, to messy, plus they pay huge sums.

Bowser Jr. Nutt: How about a mobster?

Wendy: No, we'll just have to watch that little-

The boy was gone.

Wendy: Oh shit! If Jr. sees this, he'll never trust me with anything again!

Bowser Jr. Nutt: Aww, I didn't know you cared.

Wendy: Shut up and help me-

A beam of light shot from the air vent and caught Wendy's and the Author's hair on fire.

Wendy: AAAAAAAAAH!

She ran around screaming into the next room.

Bowser Jr. Nutt: Piff, what's her problem?

Blu Bowser: Oh…hey- OH MY GOSH! YOUR HAIR IS ON FIRE!

Bowser Jr. Nutt: Really? ….hmm….So it is.

Blu Bowser: Doesn't that hurt?

Bowser Jr. Nutt: Yes. Very much. Why?

Blu Bowser: …

The Doll-man-freak was finally going to waste these two.

Larry: Uh…Creepy doll-guy…Why am I wearing a belt that in two minutes will squeeze me until it cuts me in half?

Lemmy: Yeah, and why do I have to wear this thong?

Larry: You were wearing that before you came in.

Lemmy: Oh yeah…

Jigsaw: You have to minutes to find the key, some were in this room. When your two minutes are up, you will be squeezed to death.

Larry: I know!

Larry reached his hand down into Lemmy's thong.

Lemmy: I already checked in there.

Larry: I know…

Lemmy: …YOU PERVERT!

The Bell rang and the belt started to squeeze.

Larry: This is the end for me… Lemmy…

Lemmy: Yeah?

Larry: Tell dad… that he needs a hobby…

The belt started to malfunction and stopped squeezing.

Larry: Yeah! I live!

Jigsaw: Damn! I though I was finally rid of you two…

Larry: Well, now can we play Life?

Lemmy: Or Go?

Larry: Or Clue?

Lemmy: Or Sorry?

Larry: Or Chutes and Ladders?

Jigsaw and Lemmy: …

Bowser was out for a walk trying to contemplate a way to stop Roy's ramblings from sinking in when a strange object fell from the sky and crashed right next to them. Bowser Picked it up and found it looked like a transmitter. He pushed the button on the top and a strange hologram of a woman came out.

Princess Liba: Help us, Obese-wan Kadoki- Hey, Who the hell are you?

Roy: Wow! A creepy ghost lady!

Bowser: No, Roy. That's a hologram.

Roy: Huh? Not her, the one on this post card from Los-Vegas.

They looked at the card that had a picture of the creepy lady flat out drunk at some bar.

Princess Liba: Hey! I'm talking to you, fat-ass! Our planet is about to be attacked and all you can think about is some boobless slut on a post card!

Roy and Bowser: Duh.

The girl on the hologram was eaten by some space monster.

Roy: Do it again!

Bowser: What ever, keep walking.

He kept on walking until he found some pygmies running around.

Frogo Bagsins: We must take the this ring to mount doom, do you know the way?

Bowser Was silent for a moment.

Bowser: No. I think I'll just eat you.

Frogo Bagsins: Feel the wrath of Sting!

He pulled out a four inch-long sword and started to whack Bowser with no avail.

Frogo Bagsins: Damn it! I knew I should have gotten the 5-inch sword…

Bowser reached down and ate him, and the others as well.

Roy: Oh, my precious, it's all ours, yes my lovely.

Bowser: Are you talking about that ring?

Roy: Nope, I'm talking about my cock.

Bowser: Delightful… Now that image will stick with me all day damn it!

They (Bowser) kept on walking until they found a well in the middle of nowhere with some freaky looking girl climbing out of it.

Samara: Finally I'm out of that accursed well! Hey, who the hell are you?

Roy: I'm Cosmo!

Bowser: I'm Wanda!

Both: And we're…(sounds of fire works in background) Your Fairy god-

They accidentally knocked her back into the well.

Samara: (fading) Your monkey people, all of you…

Bowser: That was weird.

Roy: So are cumquats.

They kept on walking until the Author ran out of ideas.

Bowser Jr. Nutt: Hey, that's me!

Bowser Jr. Was laughing while throwing toilet paper and eggs and mushroom castle. Princess Peach and Mario were on the balcony.

Peach: That little Brat! It'll take me weeks to clean this all up!

Mario: Aww, Look at all the dairy products and ass-wipes he's giving us, He must really like us!

Bowser Jr. Laughed at his work a little longer, then ran back home.

Fawful: Wow, Cackletta! That plan was fun.

Cackletta: I know, but that stupid shady one ruined all the fun! Who is stupid enough not to notice your hair is on fire?

Fawful: The mental stress of writing takes a heavy toll on the masses.

Cackletta: I hate you.

Fawful: What? I was to busy fantasizing about us having sex to hear you.

Cackletta: ……Help….me….

Bowser Jr. came back home to find it in total shambles with screaming in the back ground. He looked to his right and saw the curtains shaking. He opened it up to reveal the author.

Bowser Jr.: What are you doing back there?

Bowser Jr. Nutt: I'm scared. Wendy went crazy trying to find that creepy kid and went she found him in her room trying on her bra, she went berserk and wrecked the place.

Bowser Jr.: Owch…Well, at least it's not my turn this week to clean up the house.

Ludwig: Jr.!

Ludwig walked in with a terrible case of hives.

Ludwig: You let a Japanese person in the house!

Bowser Jr. Nutt: Really? I thought he was Brazilian… What was I talking about? Some thing about earthworms…

Bowser Jr.: Now Ludwig…I-I can explain…

Ludwig started to charge Jr., who ran for his life.

Bowser Jr. Nutt: …What weirdoes…(picks up Wendy's Diary) … Whoa, I didn't know Wendy had an "insert here" tattoo on her ass!

Wendy: WHAT!

Bowser Jr. Nutt: Oh shit.

Larry: Hah! I win again!

Larry, Lemmy, and the creepy doll had nothing better to do so they all agreed to play Poker with the seamen.

Sailor #1: Damn it! I Hate this game!

Jigsaw: Oh stop bitching and ante up.

Sailor #2: I bet you my last can of spinach.

Sailor #3: Whoa, you must have got a nice hand.

Bowser Walked into the bathroom with a newspaper under his arm and a Roy on his shoulder.

Bowser: What the hell is going on here?

Jigsaw: FREEDOM!

He ran out the door as fast as he could.

Roy: Awww…We were having fun last night…

Lemmy: What do you mean last with…oh…

Bowser: Great… First I had to untie your brother from the chandelier, then stop Ludwig from doing it again, then I had to find a paper bag to put on his head because of his hives, then I had to pull all of the sharp objects out of the Author, and now this. What else could go wrong today?

The Creepy boy ran by wearing Wendy's bra.

Boy: I regret Nothing!

He ran off.

Bowser: Not that kind of wrong!

The TV turned on.

News-lady: Flash! Alien Pie-pods are taking over the world!

Just then a Pie-pod lifted up the roof and made a strange horn sound.

Everyone: Oh shit.

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Yes, I know… Not TOO much hilarity but I'll be alright. Please R&R!


	5. Bowletta Returns

**Bowletta Returns**

Bowser Jr. was up in his room. It was far past his usual bed time but decided to stay up now and sleep in later. He had a pair of headsets on and was reading _Needful Things_ by Stephen King (great book, by the way), with the headphones blaring _St. Jimmy_ by Green Day, humming a little of it and occasionally singing a note or so. He was thinking what an exhausting day it had been, the head sets blaring in fast-paced agreement, when he heard a crash from somewhere in the castle. This was not uncommon, everyone made a large crash here in there, and hearing one was taken for granted in this castle. Bowser Jr. tore his eyes away from his book, then dismissed it as one of his fathers way of venting his "peace of mind", or maybe the author was having another writers block and was writing up whatever he could salvage. His eyes zipped back to his book, and didn't think of the crash for the rest of the night.

It was 3:00 A.M. . Bowser carefully tiptoed down the stairs, flinching at any sound he heard. He was taking a special precaution not to be seen by anyone for some reason, and was hoping to get to the weapons chamber as quickly as possible. If anyone saw him, they would instantly know something was wrong. Something went wrong during the process… It mutated…they'll find out… Bowser stumbled down the stairs stopped dead. The TV was on, he could hear it. Bowser gulped and looked out of the corner. He sighed in enormous relief. It was only the Author, watching some silly show on animal planet about a family of meerkats and the harsh desert they live in. He tiptoed passed him, turned a corner, and bumped into Ludwig!

Bowser: Ah… (looks at names on piece of paper) Iggy?

Ludwig: ……No…Ludwig.

Bowser: Right… err…I got to go!

He hurried along as fast as he could but stopped dead as Ludwig called out.

Ludwig: Hey dad, you look different some how…

Bowser: _(shit!)_ Um…I have no idea what you are talking about!

Ludwig: Hmm…

Bowser hurried out before Ludwig could have a chance to study him more.

Bowser made it to the weapons room without any further interruptions. He knocked three times, and the door opened.

Wendy: Where in the seven hells is Jr.!

Everyone was at breakfast except the Bowser clones, Jr., And Bowser/Roy. Everyone was tired of waiting for the others. Especially Wendy, who looked royaly pissed right now. Nobody tried to agree with her right now, or even speak, no reason to get her any more pissed off than she already was.

Wendy: Larry! Go wake Jr.!

Larry: Why do-

Wendy: GET GOING!

Larry ran up stairs.

Larry had only seen his brother's room a few times, he rarely lets anyone in for no reason, but it was unique to say the least. Larry noticed that Jr. very rarely took anything into his room besides nick-nacks, art trophies, and sports medals. Although Larry rarely sees his brothers room, he was certain of one thing. If one were to take just a glance into his room, that person would know everything they would need to know about Jr. Larry opened the door and looked around. It was certainly a strange room. One of the walls had an enormous poster that had every color on it from autumn red to wintergreen. Covering the floor was a multicolored colored carpet that almost seemed to move under his feet. On another wall was an ownership deed to the Gambling Koopa, a large casino Jr. acquired before the 3-on-3 basketball competitions. It was one of the ways Jr. got a little extra cash. The window on the wall opposite the door was draped with blue, graphitti marked curtains. On the drawer next to Jr.'s bed (which only contained bandanas), mounted on a stand, was the magic paintbrush. On the adjacent bed was the owner of the room. He had a book on his lap and headphones on his head, still blaring some tune even though Jr. was asleep, Green Day maybe. Larry went to the side of his little brother's bed and shook the sleeping form. Jr. groaned and turned in his bed.

Larry: (softly) Jr…psst…Jr…

His slept on.

Larry: JR.!

Bowser Jr. jumped as if the devil had slapped him in the ass.

Bowser Jr.: LARRY! GET OUT OF MY ROOM!

Larry: It's 9:00 A.M., and Wendy's in a fit that your not down yet so everyone could start eating.

Bowser Jr.: (wining) I'm sleeping…tell them they can wait another hour…

Larry sighed and thought of the only way to get him up quick.

Larry: Hey, Jr., after breakfast we'll watch that new _De Vince Code_ DvD.

His brother rolled over and raised a curious eyelid.

Bowser Jr.: Really?

Larry: Sure!

Bowser Jr.: Awesome! I love that movie! Tell the others I'll be down after I change.

Jr. jumped out of his bed and walked over to his drawer and shifted through his bandanas

Larry shook his head and headed back to the dining room.

While Larry was waking Bowser Jr., Wendy had sent Lemmy to wake up their father. Lemmy checked his room, but he wasn't there. Lemmy then checked the living room, T.V. Room, The Arcade (which had just installed the brand new game, whack-a-Mario), the Dungeons, and the war room, but Bowser was nowhere to be found. Lemmy was wandering frantically down the halls when he tripped. Lemmy looked around. _What did I trip over?_ Lemmy thought to himself. He looked around and saw it was only Roy, sleeping on the carpet.

Lemmy: Pfft, it's just Roy.

He was about to leave when he realized.

Lemmy: ROY!.?

The door to the weapons room opened to reveal Fawful.

Fawful: Cackletta! I hope your journey was uneventful?

Bowser (Cackletta): Not exactly. One of his bumbling brats bumped into me and almost got me caught!

Fawful: While you were busy, I found that not only was the boy separated from your shoulder, but the clones have gone as well.

Bowser (Cackletta): Someone will surely notice! Some of his kids maybe brats and may look clueless, But You'd have to be REALLY stupid not to notice.

Fawful: I have no way of knowing how to reverse the effects of the transformation, just try to keep going on as you are.

Bowser (Cackletta): Fine…But I won't like it.

He/She stormed out of the room leaving Fawful standing alone.

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**NOTICE!**

**Now that Bowser is possessed by Cackletta, all dialouge by Bowser is to be from Cackletta.**

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Kooplings: WHAT!.?

All of the kooplings were staring at Roy with a "wat da fux go'n on" expression on there faces.

Iggy: Roy? What are you doing off of dad! And even stranger, why hasn't dad started crying and praising god and celebrating and letting us drink until we go into a coma?

Ludwig turned his head towards the author.

Ludwig: Hey, did you have anything to do with this?

Bowser Jr. Nutt: Nope. I was about to leave this morning for an authors convention so I didn't have to turn him back. Well, see ya!

The Author vanished.

Everyone blinked as if they were just slapped.

Larry: …What the f--- was that about?

Roy:…

Morton: …Roy, what is that?

Roy: A nickel I found. It's name is Kenny.

Bowser Jr.: You named it Kenny?

Roy: No. That's just what's written on it.

The kooplings all leaned closer. Sure enough, The word "kenny" Was etched in were the president should be. Everyone stared at it for a few seconds until Ludwig shook his head.

Ludwig: Anyways, where is dad?

Bowser Jr.: Hey, I just remembered! There was a weird thump last night coming from dads room.

Iggy: Yeah, but… That kinda always happens around here now a days.

E. Gadd: I am sure your father will be down soon. In the mean time, I bet I can beat any of you in World of Warcraft!

Ludwig: Your on!

They raced for the nearest set of computers.

Everyone shook their heads.

Wendy: Now what do we do?

Lemmy: Hey, Jr.

Bowser Jr.: Yeah?

Lemmy: What's the difference between colors?

Bowser Jr.: Well…

Fawful had a plan. A plan that, if it worked, would free him of his grasp of Cackletta. He had run it over a hundred times in his head, and would have a hundred more if things hadn't been moving so quickly. Cackletta had taken the bait when he laid out the counterfeit plans on the authors desk. A little device he had set up himself. It would work. It had to. He couldn't take it anymore! He couldn't stand being here, seeing everyone doing something fun. That weird Author watching that meerkat show, that little brat that they had kidnapped painting, even that bald one that always complained seemed to be having more fun. When he was rid of Cackletta, He would get out of the place. Maybe retire to some island, where he would never have to hear the word Cackletta, Bowser, or Author again…

E. Gadd: Hah! Look at all my armor! I have weapons on my weapons, and my stats are off the scale!

On the computer screen, there was E. Gadd's huge player facing Ludwig's puny one.

E. Gadd: Hah! What will you do now? Your chances of winning are hopeless!

Ludwig: Oh yeah? Take this!

On the computer screen, the puny character pulled out a can of W.O.W. mace and sprayed it into the muscular characters face. The muscular character screamed as his eyes bled, and eventually fell down dead.

E. Gadd: Aw! Stupid game upgrades!

Ludwig: So, you wanna go see what's on the authors TV?

E. Gadd: You mean the one that he never lets anyone touch? Hell yeah!

They raced back across the dining room, passing the other kooplings who were deep in conversation.

Bowser Jr.: …Quantity is important. Mixing just a little bit of brown to red gets Indian-brown, while mixing more will get you mahogany. You also have to pay attention of how well your mixing it, mixing can greatly alter streaking and the overall effect of the color…

Well…Jr. was at least.

Wendy: Yeah… Hey, where are you guys going?

E. Gadd: Were going to see what's so special about the authors TV. Wanna come?

Everyone: Yeah!

They raced said TV stared at it.

Ludwig: …Wendy, you turn it on.

Wendy: Why me? Larry should do it.

Larry: What? What if the author finds out and writes that a big mutant worm eats my head or something?

Iggy: This is pointless!

Iggy took a book of matches out and lit one. He let it burn for a few seconds before blowing it out.

Iggy: We'll draw matches. The one who gets the match with the burnt head is the one who turns it on.

Everyone reluctantly agreed and took a match. In the end, Lemmy was the one who ended up turning it on. He shakily picked up the remote and turned on the TV. The TV instantly emitted a cheery tune and a picture of a bunch of meerkats.

Morton: …Hmm? It acts like a regular TV.

Lemmy pressed the "channel up" Button to reveal the same show. Lemmy then began jamming the buttons only to get the same channel.

Morton: Or not. Why does the author have a TV that plays only one channel?

Larry: Maybe he just really likes this show.

Iggy: What's so interesting about show on one animal?

Bowser Jr. scanned the beginning credits and looked up.

Bowser Jr.: Hey, it's voiced by the guy who plays Sam in _Lord of the Rings_, Sean Austin.

Ludwig threw his hands up in exasperation.

Ludwig: Who cares!

Wendy: I got an idea. Lets watch a few episodes of this so we can laugh about it later, 'kay?

Iggy: That plan sucks root.

Larry: Yeah.

Wendy glared and that was the end of it. When Wendy glared, it usually meant blackmail, fraud, theft, or murder if the cause of the glare was not satisfied. They sat down and watched episode one.

_You lousy bitch! Get out of my body!_

Bowser: Shut up… I got that kid off your arm, didn't I?

…_well… yeah… But still! I can't stand having _you _in my body!_

Cackletta was in the closet. She ran to an empty space as soon as she started to here Bowser's voice inside her head.

_You keep watching those girly soap-operas! I'd even rather watch what show the weird author watches than have to sit through another episode of "oh johnny! I knew it wasn't you! It was your evil twin!" It's _

_F---in bullshit! And I- hey…what are you doing?…_

Cackletta was dialing the phone and then talked into it.

Bowser: Hello? Is this Exorcists-R-Us? I need an exorcism on a particularly annoying evil spirit.

I'm _the evil spirit? You're the body snatcher around here you…you…Body snatcher! And forbid you to let some weird guy into my house while I'm around!_

Bower: But your not around.

_Well… err… Aww, f---…_

In the living room everyone's eyes were locked on the TV.

Larry: Aww! Tosca died in the winter!

Lemmy: Well, it's not like the producers can control who lives and who dies, remember these are real life events.

Wendy: I'll trade you two Mangos cards for a Yussarian!

Ludwig: Throw in Hannibal and you got a deal.

Wendy: Sure.

Bowser Jr.: Wait, you got a Hannibal? I only need him And I'll have all the Commandos! I'll trade you Big Saud for him.

Wendy: Ooh! If I get him I'll have all the Lazuli! You got a deal!

Ludwig: What? What about our trade!

They continued to argue as E. Gadd was watching them from the corner of the room.

E. Gadd: Hehehe, they've been at it for three hours strait! Youth is wasted on those who don't have lives, isn't that right, baby?

Kayako: (gurgling)

E. Gadd: You know…(moves closer) You look great in the moonlight.

Kayako: (Cat-like Screech)

E. Gadd: Whoa, tiger! I just met you!

Only then did she start to tear his jaw off. The kooplings either didn't notice or just didn't care…or both. The author then walked into the room, and sat down to watch his show. Then, Cackletta, still waiting for the exorcist to arrive, sat down and watched TV. Roy then walked into the room.

Roy: Hey, guys, did any of you see kenny? GASP!

He ran over to see the authors foot on top of it.

Roy: Oh my god! You killed Kenny! You bastards!

He noticed that no one was listening to him so he sat down on the couch. It broke under the extra weight.

Roy: That's it, Screw you guys, I'm going home!

Bowser: You are home.

Roy: (from other room) Shut up you stupid hippies!

Everyone: _Sigh…_

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	6. Of Timesplitters and Exorcists

**Of Timesplitters and Exorcists**

Bowser: Are you sure this will work?

Fawful: Positive.

Bowser: But what if they suspect something?

Fawful: What's there to suspect?

Bowser: What if that voice starts again? I could have sworn one of them was looking at me funny just when it happened…

Fawful: I doubt it.

Fawful had been pressuring Cackletta to get to know the Kooplings ever since the body takeover, that way she wouldn't act so ackward toward them and they wouldn't suspect her as much. But Cackletta absolutely refused to even pass small talk with them. They were just so…(shiver). Eventually, however Cackletta was annoyed into excepting the idea and planned to get to know the brats better. Unrenowned to Cackletta, however, Fawful was just using this as an excuse to keep Cackletta away, so he could scheme. He saw the author working on the machine yesterday, and he had to make sure he had every little thing under control. Ever since Cackletta started hearing the voices of the fat-ass turtle, Fawful had been looking up medical reports to see if he should be worried, but found nothing so far…

Bowser: I cannot believe you talked me into this Fawful. Maybe we were better off hiding in the air vents…

Fawful: Nonsence, this will do the job!

Bowser: Do what job?

Fawful: I don't even know anymore…

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E. Gadd: Come on baby, just one more kiss to last me through the day?

Kayako: (loud hiss)

The swung open to the closet and E. Gadd jumped.

Bowser Jr. Nutt was standing in the door way.

E. Gadd: Um… we're just… friends?

Bowser Jr. Nutt: Do I look like I care? …Hell yeah!

He walked out.

E. Gadd: Phew! He bought it! Now…Where were we?

Kayako: (screech)

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Authors Poll

I'm thinking I might get rid of myself in the story, I'm not sure people like it. You readers can vote on if my character should stay in the story, or leave. The winning poll will get decided, and I'll post everyone who voted, whether they voted the wining poll or not. Also, if you want my character to stay, you can send requests of my characters behavior from now on. I'll post the results next chapter.

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Cackletta crept into the game room. It was a room that had sixteen TV screens (usually only eight are used at once) and had a game station for everyone. The kooplings were settled down and rapidly clicking their controllers to some stupid game. Cackletta walked over and pretended to be interested.

Bowser: What are you all doing?

Lemmy: (mechanically) playing Timesplitters: Future Perfect.

Bowser: I thought you were all in to meerkat mayor?

Iggy: Why do you think you we're playing?

Larry: Yeah, we just got this really rare meerkat card and winner gets it.

Roy: Yeah, and when I get it, you all will respect my authorit-ah!

Wendy: Roy! Stop talking like characters in south park!

Bowser Jr.'s TV screen: (robotic) Eat my laser! _Eat it_!

Morton: Jr. , that was cheap! Why do you always have to snipe? It's totally cowardly!

Bowser Jr.: You call that cheap? Ludwig just used a Mag-charger to find me, and then he shot me through a wall with it!

Iggy's TV screen: You suck!

Iggy: What! I _So _did not kill myself!

Larry: Yes you did, you walked into your own proximity mine!

Bowser Jr.: You mean like the time we played one-shot kill with bricks, and one time you got so mad you threw a brick at the wall and it bounced back and killed you?

Everyone laughed.

Wendy's TV screen: Chimpaside!

Ludwig: Oh, Wendy got you good, Roy!

Roy: Okay, children. It's time to kill that skanky bitch with the ugly hairdo.

Wendy slapped him.

Roy: M'kay. Hey, I just saw the craziest thing yesterday. Black people, are rioting against Mexicans! _Black_ _people_!

Morton: Great, now he's doing Carlos Mencia!

Roy: It's really all their fault because in the 50's, the blacks were like, "we ain't doing these jobs no more" and then the wetbacks were like (raising his hand) "we will do it".

Iggy: Anyways, what were you saying dad?

But their father had already left.

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Cackletta was at the indoor bar. Most of the stupid little turds voices were still ringing in her head. She came to the bar because not to long ago, she had watched the youngest brat get an asprin from here, and did she ever need some now!

Bowser: I'll have an asprin with a rootbeer float.

Waiter: Coming right up. You know, Jr. ordered that same dish a few days ago. So what ails you today…Cackletta.

Cackletta spit out her drink.

Bowser: How did-

Waiter: The author told me. But don't worry, I won't tell. Not so easy being the boss around here, is it?

Cackletta was weary, but she answered anyway.

Bowser: Hell yeah! I can't stand those brats! How do you put up with it?

The waiter chuckled.

Waiter: They certainly entertain me! Especially when they go at each other.

Bowser: What do you mean?

Waiter: Well, there was this time that Bowser Jr. got angry at Morton for some reason, so when Morton went to sleep, Bowser Jr. broke into his room and glued a bunch of clover seeds to Morton's head. When Morton came down for breakfast, his head looked like one of those Chia pets. He eventually had to get them removed because the roots where starting to dig into his skin.

Cackletta laughed her first good laugh in ages.

Waiter: And this other time, Lemmy got mad at Iggy, so he laced Iggy's breakfast with at least three pounds of E-Lax.

Cackletta laughed even harder.

Waiter: And their was this other time Wendy got pissed at Roy when they were trying to write letters to their grandma. So Wendy put wolf spider eggs in the lick sealant that Roy was using. The next day he ran down the stairs with spiders coming out of his tongue.

Cackletta rolled on the ground with laughter. _Jeez, these kids are dangerous_, Cackletta thought. Cackletta stood up.

Bowser: That's it!

Cackletta walked away and left the waiter with a smirk on his face.

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Bowser Jr.: I still say it was cheap.

Ludwig had won. He had kept to his strategy of using a Mag-charger and had killed everyone through a solid wall. Ludwig held out the card and waved it in the air.

Ludwig: The object of the game is to kill as many people as possible. The game wouldn't give a shit if I used a weapon of mass destruction so long as I get the most kills.

Roy: Okay, we got to talk about the vice president shooting his friend in the face. I mean, who hunts for quail? Who wakes up in the morning and goes "I think I'll hunt some quail".

Wendy: Roy, shut up.

Roy: I mean, even wetbacks wouldn't eat it, and they eat anything! That's why they never show up on fear factor.

Bowser Jr. Nutt: Okay, seriously. If you keep talking like that people are going to think I'm racist.

Roy: The fear factor guy says to the wetback that he has to eat a pigs penis and he goes "mmm, my favorite"! But when they say he's got to eat quail he's like "oh no, I won't eat that".

They jumped him.

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Cackletta answered the door. A large man in some strange clothes entered.

Priest: I am father Merrin.

Bowser: …Didn't you, like, die in the Exorcist?

Father Merrin: That was never proven!

Bowser: What do you mean "that was never proven", everyone saw you lying on the floor with the little she-devil gnashing her teeth saying "revive him, priest! Revive him so we can finish this"!

Father Merrin: And he did.

Bowser: But he died!

Father Merrin: God resurrected him.

Bowser: Then why didn't I see it?

Father Merrin: It was in the directors cut.

Bowser: No it wasn't

Father Merrin: Oh, damnit! Lets just get this over with.

He took out a flashlight and waved it in front of Cackletta's eyes.

Father Merrin: I am talking to the person in side of…err…

Bowser: Bowser.

Father Merrin: Yeah, I am speaking to the person inside of Bowser. If you hear me you to are hypnotized. Now, I am going to ask you questions and you answer them to the best of your extent. Alright, who are you.

Bowser: Reswob.

Father Merrin: Where do you come from?

Bowser: Modgnik apook.

Father Merrin: Stop talking backwards damnit!

Bowser: Sorry.

Father Merrin: Okay, now why are you in Bowser's Body?

Bowser: Because she's a body snatching bitch that's why.

Father Merrin: Are you a person?

Bowser: I'm certainly not a hobbit if that's what your asking.

Father Merrin: Are you or have you ever been Jessica Simpson?

Bowser: Why the hell do you want to know that?

Father Merrin: I'm single.

Bowser: F--- you.

Father Merrin: I'll take that as a maybe. This may take awhile.

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Remember to answer the poll!


	7. Prank Wars

**Prank War**

"I'm bored…", Bowser Jr. droned. The kooplings had played every video game they had, killed each other a thousand times in each multiplayer mode, and were still bored. "Wanna play Metroid Prime 2?", Iggy asked nonchalantly. "To long", replied Wendy. "How about Runescape", said Lemmy. "Our memberships haven't been renewed yet, and the free mode is just boring", said Larry. "Starwars Battlefront 2?", Morton asked. " We can't find the disk", Ludwig sighed. "How about House of the Dead?", Bowser Jr. asked. "Which one?", Lemmy answered. " I don't know, Four, maybe?", Bowser Jr. shrugged. "To short" Wendy said. "How about we try something new to do?", Larry said, "like Paintball?". "Any game with paint in it's name, Jr.'s probably going to win", Ludwig intervened. "Wanna go spar outside?", Iggy suggested. Everyone perked up.

"I'm in"

"Me to!"

"And me"

They all stumbled up and went outside.

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Fawful saw him. An Exorcist. Can't be good, Fawful thought, can't be good. Fawful forgot to look up medical reports on Exorcists. He had decided to check it up and found disturbing news. An Exorcism would, instead of ejecting Bowser from Cackletta, would eject _Cackletta _from _Bowser, _and Bowser would remember _everything. _If anyone knew they were in the Castle, then they would find them. He would have to cancel his plans, and stop the Exorcism. Revenge on Cackletta would have to wait. "But first", Fawful muttered. He grabbed a piece of paper and began to scribble madly.

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"How many children do you have?"

" Eight"

"How many women have you married?"

"Two"

"Did you ever see the movie, Pirates of the Caribbean?"

"Me and just about everyone else"

"How much would you like to kill me now?"

"Very, very much"

The questioning had gone on for at least an hour. To Cackletta and Bowser however, who were still hypnotized, felt no time passing at all. The Exorcist, wasn't even paying attention to the exorcism and was busy thinking of…something.

"On a rate of one to ten, how much do you want to kill me?"

"Sorry, but the keyboard doesn't have an infinity symbol"

"Okay! I think we're done with questions!"

"Really?!"

"No"

"Your acting sucked in the Exorcist!" Bowser said expressionlessly.

"Take that back! I'll have you know, that I won an Oscar for my piece in the Exorcist."

"No you didn't"

"I didn't?"

"No! You weren't even nominated!"

"Damnit! Those bastards lied to me! They said that I won that award!"

"Did they also say you were a real exorcist?"

"What's your point?"

The hypnotized Bowser was about to make a comeback when Roy walked into the room. He looked to the exorcist and then to Cackletta/Bowser.

"Your going to die up there" Roy said.

He then straitened up and walked away.

"Okay… I'm just going to wake you up".

The exorcist snapped his fingers and Bowser/Cackletta woke up.

"Okay, now there is supposed to be a forty-five minute break, so come back in three fourths of an hour".

The Exorcist then simply walked out the door without another word. At first, Cackletta was in shock of being out of long-term hypnosis, but then she quickly got up and put her plan in motion.

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There really wasn't supposed to be a forty-five minute break, the Exorcist just made it up.

"Those guys are really weird…Ach!"

The Exorcist put a hand to his throat and took out the medicine for his ulcer, unaware of the watchful eyes in the air vent. He swallowed his medicine, straitened up, and went off to do…something…

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"Okay, we all know the rules: No weapons, no fire-breathing, no leaving the boundaries of the Castle, If you cry, you lose, no attacking with harmful intent, and no double teaming, understood?".

The Kooplings (Except Roy), were all in a line, awaiting the signal to start playing. The Koopalings, who would often threaten to kick each others asses, use a game of play-fighting to support there claim. Having an innate knack to fight, all of the koopalings enjoyed this game, even Wendy. Ludwig finished reciting the formality rules and gave the signal to start. The Koopalings immediately ran to opposite ends of the valley, and waited for the flare, which was really only a firework rigged up to an automatic timer. When the explosion lit up the sky, the Koopalings searched the valley for one another to fight. Iggy was right next to the Castle, and was closing in on Lemmy, who was just up the clearing. Wendy, who was right on top of the second floor patio, was eyeing the area in search of movement, but failing to see the two below. In the air vent near Iggy, Cackletta was preparing her trap.

_Don't do it, don't do it!…_

"Shut up" Cackletta muttered.

_I'm serious! I'm still paying for when this happened last time!_

"I said shut up!" Cackletta growled.

Iggy looked up at the air vent and Cackletta ducked. She laid still until Iggy looked away.

_I'm am not kidding here. You are messing with forces that are beyond your comprehension!_

"You mean eight kids playing pranks on each other?" Cackletta said sarcastically.

_Exactly! You'll touch off another one of my children's prank wars! Have you ever heard of Hindenburg, the Hiroshima bomb, the Titanic?_

"Yes" Cackletta said.

_Yes. And they were all very sad. Now stop what your doing! Please!_

"Hmmm…"Cackletta thought, "sorry!"

She lifted the air vent lid and blew a stream of fire at Iggy. The fire hit dead center and Cackletta retreated back into the air vents. Iggy groaned and looked in the direction of the blast. His eyes locked on Wendy and he bared his teeth.

"What the hell was that for!" Iggy yelled just out of earshot of Lemmy.

"Hmm?" Wendy inquired.

"You know exactly what! You just hit me with fire!" He yelled.

"No I didn't" Wendy said surprised.

Iggy reached down and threw a smooth pebble at Wendy. It clipped her at the boneless nerve-ending on the knee and she yelled, tears flowing from her eyes. Enraged, she blew fire at Iggy. He ducked, and the stream hit Lemmy. Lemmy got back up and his face burned red. Just then, Bowser Jr. came out of the bushes. He was sneaking up on Lemmy before the fight started, and concentrated to much on approaching quietly to notice the hostility going on. In a blind rage, Lemmy struck out with angry strength and hit Jr. with far more strength than the game allowed. He hit Bowser Jr. in jaw, arm, and stomach with so much force he was pushed into the adjacent clearing, right were Ludwig and Morton were fighting. Jr., in to much pain to be angry, cradled his almost broken arm and sobbed with blood coming out of his mouth. Ludwig and Morton, forgetting their game entirely, rushed to Jr.'s side. Then they both looked at the stunned Lemmy who only just now realized he had hit his younger brother. Morton and Ludwig, burning with the injustice done to their brother, charged at the still stunned Lemmy. Just before they made their mark, Larry appeared out of the bushes. Larry had was the farthest from the castle when the game began and was looking for whatever caused the loud racket. Morton, to far into momentum to stop or change course, rammed Larry backwards at Roy, who was feeling apparently like acting more sane than usual, and caused all of the Koopalings to fight. Cackletta, still at in the air vent, marveled at the brawl happening below her. Feeling that her deed was done, she headed back through the air vent.

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Fawful, who had just made arrangements to the machine the author had build, rush over to where all the exorcists things where. He had left them there as he went to do…something. Fawful then placed a sheet of paper in the Exorcists ritual book, poured a strange liquid into his wine flask, and replaced the bottle of ulcer medicine with another bottle of different medicine. After he had prepared everything, he took a glance out the window and watched the koopalings fight. After fifteen minutes, he realized he had lost track of time and quickly ran off just as the Exorcist came back from doing …..something.

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The fight, which almost everyone in the castle witnessed, had lasted for two hours. All of the koopalings were exhausted and hurt. As everyone slowly got to their feet, they all glared at each other with silent promises of revenge. They then slowly and soundlessly dragged themselves back into the castle.

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I hope you all liked it! I'm sorry it took so long, but I wanted it to turn out great! Please R&R!

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Authors Poll

Send ideas to what the something the exorcist is doing is. **_ALL _**entries will be posted in the next chapter, and the one that I think is the best will become the actual…something… Please post your ideas Via reviews

(and don't forget to say how much liked my story to!).


	8. The Deal

-1**The Deal**

"Okay, now what sexuality are you?"

"I'd rather not talk about it."

"What is your native language?"

"Saurian. Are we done yet? It's bad enough that I have this old bitch stuck in my body, but now I also have to be questioned from a deceased horror movie character!"

Father Merrin had interrogated the koopa king for an agonizingly long eight min-hours! Eight hours…yeah…

"Now, I'm going to say some words, and you tell me words that you associate with them."

"…Okay", said Bowser reluctantly.

"Okay….Fire"

"Breath"

"Space"

"Ship"

"Religion"

" Useless"

"…F--- you…. Mencia"

"Hilarious"

"Bush"

"Mistake"

"Peach"

"Hot"

"Okay now", Merrin said judgingly, " I will ascertain, first off, that you are a sad, pathetic person."

" Yeah, I didn't need you to tell me that…"

"And second, you are _definetly_ the owner of this body."

"_Finally!_" Bowsers voice exclaimed.

" But that Shady character paid me not to do the exorcism, so your stuck with that bitch in your body."

"…I F---ing hate the Author…"

" Well", Father Merrin said getting up, "My work here is done. Now if you'll excuse me, I gotta get home to my husband." He took a final look at the gaping koopa and snapped his fingers. At that moment, Cackletta regained control.

" I…was in…Bowser's subconscious….",Cackletta said flabbergasted. Then she gagged and started to convulse.

_..I REALLY hate the Author…_

"Shut up…" Cackletta snarled to herself.

…_So, now that you have control over my body again, what are you going to do now?…_

"I'm going to Florida!"

…_Stupid bitch…_

Just then, a scream came from upstairs followed by the sound of rushing water.

"What the hell was that?"

…_Oh no! It's starting!…_

" What's starting?"

"Dad!"

Iggy came running down the stairs. He was soaking wet and smelled awful.

"Dad, Larry backed up the pipe system!" Iggy shouted.

Cackletta mauled this over for a second.

"Okay, lizard, what do I tell him?" Cackletta thought.

…_Tell him "Oh, no. Your not dragging _me _into another one of your prank wars!" And then hit him…_

"Oh , no", Cackletta copied, "You are _not _dragging me into another one of your prank wars!"

She then slapped him across the face…A few moments later, Iggy angrily stormed out of room, while Cackletta was flat on the floor, sustaining many injuries. Inside her head, she could hear Bowser's saurian laughter vibrate through the confines of her mind.

…_I cannot tell you how long I've wanted to do that!…_

He then went into another bout of laughter, which rang through Cackletta's mind like a church bell. As angry as she- no, as _furious _as she was, Cackletta got an idea.

" I'll tell you what, lizard, I think I got a proposition for you" Cackletta thought.

…_Hmm? What would that be?…_

" I have a feeling that those kids of yours are a major headache to you. Manipulative, destructive, evil… are you connecting to any of this?"

…_In ways you couldn't imagine, lady…_

"Have you ever thought of a little payback?"

…_Yeah…but I don't dare mess them…they can do things…_horrible _things…_

"Here's my offer, you help me get revenge on your children, and I'll give you your body back after I'm done."

There was a tense moment of silence before Bowser's voice spoke again.

…_It would be dangerous…_

"Nothing will happen to you, I'm in control of this body so anything bad that happens will only happen to me. Get it?"

…_You do have a point there…Okay, what do I have to lose? You got yourself a deal…_

"Excellent", Cackletta said out loud, " So, who's first?"

…_Hmm, before we start with the kids, why not start with a person who could be good for a good, oh, I don't know, "test run"?…_

"Really" , said Cackletta, who had know doubt in her mind who he was talking about and absolutely relished the idea of getting even with.

…_Oh, yes…_

If Bowser had been in control of his body, he would have given a smile that would have even frightened his resilient children.

…

His children, who still had no idea that Cackletta was in control of their fathers body, let alone know he made a deal with her, were all in their rooms, planning for future assaults. Like their previous feuds, or "prank wars" as all the servants called them, it usually started with small time stuff that did little than embarrass the person they were meant for. As time progressed, however, their pranks became increasingly violent and dangerous. It eventually ends with one or more of them in the hospital. But that time had yet to come, so most of everything they did right now was the small stuff. For example, after Larry had soaked Iggy's room with sewer water, Iggy put a hallucinogen in Larry morning cup of orange juice. The hallucinogen he used was a mushroom called Big Laughing Gym, and, as the name implied, Larry started to see everything as funny and laughed almost the entire time.

"Hey…look, a wall, hahaha…" Larry said in a dazed voice. As he passed among the corridors, he walked by Lemmy, who was just about to enter his room.

"Hey Lemmy, I can see Uranus…Get it?…Haha…ha…".He staggered and fell over, unable to get up.

"Oops", Larry giggled "I guess I fell, haha….". He then passed due to the overdose of the mushroom.

Lemmy shook his head and opened the door to his room. He was immediately drenched by some strange liquid. When he got over the intial shock, he found it to be paint. The color of the paint, was hot pink. He paused and looked inside the bucket of paint to find a bright blue M with two dashes above it. Lemmy ground his teeth and started to devise a plan of action.

…

Everyone was attending dinner. Normally, everyone would be paying attention to the smoked Cheep-Cheeps, tonight's special, but everyone was to busy looking at the koopalings, all of whom bore the markings of their war. Ludwig was very careful not to speak, as his voice was still extremely squeaky from having inhaled helium. Wendy could barely hold her fork; she was slipped a neurological drug that made it incredibly hard for her to move properly. Lemmy was covered in Pink paint which, much to his horror, doesn't come off by conventional means. Iggy smelled like sewer water and Larry still couldn't stop laughing. Juinor had to feel around for his silverware as he was slipped a plant that caused temporary blindness. Roy (who, for reasons unknown, was still acting far more like his old self, before the Cackletta incident ever happened), was extremely dizzy from the blood loss he had from being the victim of a prank involving a bathtub full of leeches. And finally, Morton was covered in a bright red rashes from a sever allergic reaction brought on by someone tainting his morning breakfast, and couldn't stop itching. Everyone couldn't stop watching them. Everyone of course, except Bowser and Cackletta, who eyed their target with extreme-

"Hey, Nutt, will you stop writing and start eating?", the cook called from across the table, "I didn't make them cheep's just to have them go cold, now."

"Hey, I'm the author, I'll just make my story lack the physics of convection. Now quiet, the story's getting good."

"Are you sure this will work, reptile?" Cackletta thought.

…_I guarantee it. As a writer, Nutt's worst fear is just like all other writers…_

"I don't know if I can do this…" Cackletta thought.

…_Then let me take over…_

Cackletta gave a mental nod and let Bowser's spirit re-align with his body.

"So…Nutt…" Bowser said out loud. The sound of his voice made him feel giddy. It was the first time he was completely in control of his body for days.

"I've known you for a few weeks now and, well, I'm sure all of us will agree that we still don't know you."

The author's shady face looked up.

" Well, what's there to know?"

Bowser gave a disarming grin.

" Well, we know you have a glue factory. How did that come to be?"

"Oh", the Author inquired, "That? I was just using it for a running gag in the last story. It's all about marketing, and people love a good running gag. Just look at South Park."

…_Keep it up, lizard, but don't push to far…_

"Don't worry", Bowser thought, " I have it all figured out. If he's the real author, and this is supposed to be his story, he must of _planned_ for us to plan a plan to plan for his demise".

He turned back to the Author.

"So, don't you feel awkward being in your own story?" Bowser said, hoping to lure him into the desired topic.

"Yes", the Author sighed, "I've been planning to kill myself off at the beginning of the chapter, but now I'm to ingrained into the story to be killed off anytime soon. Again, it's marketing. I happen to know that nobody likes to read a story about the author, no matter how awesome and super cool and sexy he is. And yet, my reviewers tell me that I add to the experience."

He paused, and then asked the question Bowser was waiting to here.

"What do you think?"

Bowser put on his most believable grin, and gave his well rehearsed answer .

"Well, this is just my opinion, but I think having yourself in your own story will drive away new readers, but keep your old ones reading. Conversely, If you kill yourself off, I think new readers are more likely to appear, but more faithful readers will be deterred. Understand?"

Nutt was visibly shaken by this.

"Aww…I think you might be right. I like my current readers, but I'd like some new ones to. And this conversation I'm having is definitely _not _good marketing. Aww…I think I have writers block."

As he said those last two words, Bowser knew that he had left his mark.

…_Alright, good work, now let me take over…You know, I'm starting to wonder-_

"-how I'm going to work my periods" Cackletta continued, unaware that she was in control of Bowser's body again and that she had just said this out loud. She looked around to see everyone staring at her as if she were some kind of strange bug. Cackletta gave a nervous chuckle, and, after a few more awkward moments of staring, everyone continued with their dinnertime conversations.

…_Stupid bitch…You know, I've come around to thinking… that author sure is something. It's not everyday that you see an author that literally _gives _himself writers block for the sake of a story…_

Cackletta gave an internal nod before returning to dinner. She must enjoy this dinner, for it might be the last of the normal dinners she would have in Bowser's castle. There was work to be done. Much work to be done indeed. As she took a bite out of her Cheep-Cheep, she failed to notice a pair of eyes staring at her through the air vent. Eyes, that had fury.

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Authors Poll

Do I use the current writing style or should I convert back to script?

Should I kill myself off or should I continue to be in the story?

Also, this may sound strange, but in every review, put either a 1, a 2, or a 3 with your review (Make sure you only use one per review). The majority numbers will determine future events in the story.

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Please R & R!


	9. Statements on Writing

-1**Statements on Writing**

…_So, what was the order we were going to do this again?…_

"I told you already, lizard, we'll see just have to see how it goes."

…_I think we really should pick out an order, it'll give us a better bearing over this…_

"Putting an order on this will leave no room for error."

Cackletta was having an internal discussion on who they should get revenge on first. It was two days ago that they first decided to work together, but it was still an awkward relationship at best. They couldn't seem to agree on anything.

…_Now look here, witch, you need me, so I think you should pay a little more attention to my concerns…_

"Hey, I'm offering you away out of being second in command of your body, but I could _easily_ withdraw my proposal."

…_Oh, and I suppose that you would _like _being in my body for the rest of your life…_

Cackletta gave a growl from Bowser's throat.

"Look, we both need each other. My genius and your knowledge of everyone in this castle are both a necessity if we're going to go through with this. If we argue over this, neither of us will get what we want."

…_You know, that reminds me, didn't you bring that assistant with you?…_

Cackletta abruptly stopped walking. She was so caught up in planning and adapting that she completely forgot that Fawful was still somewhere in the castle. She instinctively looked up at the air vents, expecting to see his eyes staring back at her. Eyes, as Fawful would put it, that had fury. But the vent was empty, and Cackletta gave a sigh of relief. She didn't like to think of how Fawful would handle being replaced, especially by one of the targets he was sent to punish. He may be small and annoying, but he was also very hateful and was infamous for carrying life long grudges.

…_Wait, you totally forgot about him, didn't you? What a stupid bitch!…_

His saurian laughter ripped through her mind, causing Cackletta to both blush and snarl. She was about to make a retort when she knocked into someone. As she lifted herself off the ground, see looked to see who bumped her. She saw it was one of Bowser's children. He was relatively tall and was wearing a pair of red sunglasses. She had seen him before, but didn't really know him that much out of all of Bowser's children.

…_That's Roy, and I have never been happier not to be in my body…_

"Why's that?", Cackletta thought.

…_Because, ever since that incident where you kidnapped Jr., he's become extremely random and stupid…_

"Ever since then, huh? You know, isn't that when that shady guy first showed up?" Cackletta thought.

…_Yes, and I have no doubt in my mind that he had something to do with it…_

"Hello my parental unit," Roy inquired in his thick Boston accent, " Do you know where the Author is? I must ask him for a Xiphanctinus."

Cackletta stared at him.

"Okay, what's a Xiphanctinus?"

" An extinct Cretaceous relative of the Tarpon that grew over forty feet long, could swim up to thirty miles an hour, could consume things as big as it's self, and was one of the Cretaceous period's most dangerous marine tertiary consumers," Roy said in a normal tone.

Cackletta continued to stare at him and raised a mental eyebrow at Bowser.

"Extremely stupid, huh?', Cackletta questioned mentally.

…_Don't seem to cocky, _Bowser's voice echoed in a smart-ass tone, _just ask him _why _he wants it…_

"Why do you want one?", Cackletta asked out loud.

Roy looked at his father like he was crazy.

"So I can love it, and groom it, and take it out for walks, of course!" Roy said, annoyed at his father for not knowing this obvious answer.

Cackletta continued to stare at him.

"Okay," Cackletta thought, " Now I see where your coming from."

Roy shook his head and walked away.

"Man, you have some pretty F--ked up genetics," Cackletta thought.

She heard Bowser sniff in her head.

…_I know…_

Cackletta shook her head and walked away.

…

Fawful, unrenowned to Cackletta, was _indeed_ watching her in the hall. Also, Cackletta was wrong that Fawful carried life long grudges. He never kept them life long, as he usually got even long before that.

But Cackletta was right about one thing, Fawful did not like what he saw. You didn't have to be a rocket scientist to figure out what was happening. But that didn't make it any less insulting. He bared his teeth.

He would personally make sure that this ended badly for everyone. For the Koopalings, for the shady looking author, and especially for Cackletta. Out of all these Fink-rats, he would be the only one to walk away from this. He stared for a few more seconds, and then swiftly fled back into the darkness of the airshafts.

…

Iggy slowly walked among the halls. Their "prank wars" as the servants called it, was escalating quickly. He was limping badly from a mildly poisonous snake bite from a snake left in his room. It wasn't poisonous enough to kill him, but it _was _poisonous enough to seriously weaken his immune system. In a jar in his shell was an egg sack filled with Madagascan Hissing Cockroach eggs, and he planned to drop it off in Ludwig's room as a 'thank you' for the "gift" he left him. As he turned a corner, he saw the author sitting in a corner, muttering something under his breath. Curious, Iggy approached him.

"Nutt, what's up?" Iggy said.

He didn't answer, but instead only mumbled about plots and marketing. He did eventually finished his mutterings with the words, "writers block".

"Writers block?", Iggy questioned, "If you have writers block, then how are we having this conversation?"

"That, unfortunately, is a plot hole I have yet to fill", the author said in a drone.

Iggy stared at him.

"…Okay, what the F--k is wrong with you. Is it flames?"

"Flames don't bother me. At least if their from unfaithful readers. I'm worried I'll lose my faithful readers. And this is why I have writers block."

Iggy stared at him.

"…Okay, you are a writer. A writer's job is to write! Not to get the most reviews, not to get the least amount of flames, your job is to write! Why did you start writing?"

"To bring entertain my readers, of course."

"Well, there you go! Your job is to entertain readers, to write the way you feel is right and not how others say you should! If some reader don't like it, then fu-"

"You can't say that", said the author, quickly cutting him off, "there's a writing taboo on insulting the readers. But you know what, your right! I won't let the pressure of readers stop me from writing! Thanks Ibby!"

"It's Iggy."

"That's what I said, Izzy."

He walked away, with a significant spring in his step. Iggy shook his head.

"I wonder if that ass-hole even realizes that he was writing this up the whole time."

He stood there for a few seconds, and then continued on his way to Ludwig's room.

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A large part of this chapter was a statement on the bane of all writers, the readers! I wrote this because I was feeling oppressed by all of the un-written rules of writing. And now that I've gotten it all off of my chest, I feel much better! Anyway, I hope you liked it! Please Review!


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